Camp NaNoWriMo

Day 24 for August Camp NaNo 2012

 

It’s after 10PM on the east coast and I have the opportunity to work on my memoir about depression, what caused it, and how I came out of it with God‘s help.

The desire to write, to tell my story is there, but also lingering within me is fear. Fear of going back to those places that caused such pain and sadness. It is hard to write about one’s experiences in relation to hard times especially losing not only one loved one, but several. I sit here with a need to tell my story believing what I say may help someone out there, but also that writing it out may be therapy for me, and praise to God who helped me through that valley to the mountain top so to speak.

But how to get through those moments that make you want to cry…or just push the book off somewhere else and find something else to work on. Just because I don’t feel depressed, doesn’t mean that the pain of losing someone is gone. It’s still there and I believe that is what is causing me to struggle on with this book. I believe that God puts struggles in our path for a reason and that is to help us grow to become stronger for whatever purpose He may have for us. Since I believe this, and since I believe that with God I have nothing to fear, I must practice what I believe and press on.

So currently, my book stands at 26,892 words. I will now end this post and work more on my book and write another post before I hit the sack and let you all know how I have done. But first, a little prayer to God to help me with this journey.

Back later!

 

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Camp NaNoWriMo

Camp NaNo Day #23

 

Here I am on the 23rd of Camp NaNo. It’s just after midnight here on the east coast of the U.S. My mind things of the story I should be writing, but my stomach is yelling it’s monstrous voice to feed it, and my eyes and mind are screaming “Let me sleep, PLEASE!” Oh, what to do  in moments like these, knowing you must press on to meet that deadline? Knowing the next chapter you are about to write is going to be hard, but knowing it will lead to a published work someday that will prayerfully help at least one person in the world.

My desire and my heart want to continue on, but I am afraid I must call it a night. Get a snack to quiet the beast in my gut and close my eyes to end the constant straining to keep them open and rest my mind so that tomorrow…or should I say later today…I’ll be able to do more writing and make more progress on my book than before.

Ah, sleep is a friend and I know I must relinquish to it. But it is hard when the words come and with them feelings and dialogue…all plays in the sleeping mind, waiting, wanting, yearning to be written for other eyes to see. By I must quiet the mind with prayer and let God take over my sleepy body and ease me into a restful sleep.

Camp NaNo day #23 continues….much later today. 🙂 Night all!

 

Camp NaNoWriMo

August Camp NaNo Day 17

 

Okay, so today is day 17 of the August 2012 Camp NaNo. I have made some good headway on my book. I hope to work more on it tonight. I’m currently listening to the podcast Books on the Nightstand and it is so inspiring me to write. I also like to listen to the Creative Penn Podcast. I get both of these through iTunes and listen to them on my ipod nano or through iTunes. It depends on where I am writing either on the computer or with pen and paper.

So far my book has an epigraph, dedication, and at least two chapters. I hope to add to that tonight as long as my 3yr old goes to bed okay. She is a night owl so it’s hard. But, I really believe this book on my experience with depression and anxiety attacks and how I got through the bulk of it to that Mountain Top, and trying each day, to maintain where I am, will really help others. It’s not easy to write, I must say. Some times I just want to stop writing because emotions are just going crazy. This all started with death of my mother about 13 years ago, so even though time as gone by, the pain never completely goes away. There is always a little that lingers. A lot of this book so far is my journal entries I kept the four months I was caring for my mother. I have them down, but will have to go through them for spelling errors, etc. Not really looking forward to that, but I know it needs to be done.

Please, pray for me on writing this book. It is hard to do to to bring back some of this stuff. But even if one person benefits, it was all worth it.

~Janis~

 

Camp NaNoWriMo

August Camp NaNo

 

Geeze, here it is in the middle of August 2012 and I just realized it is another Camp NaNo month. Ugh! Some time to realize it!  I do have a story in mind and I’ll begin writing, but I think I may be a little late to meet the deadline of 50,000 by the end of the month. However, God works wonders and with Him there is no telling what can happen, so….I am just going to plug along with what is sitting in my brain waiting to get out, and see what happens. Very interested and excited to see what happens! You never know with God leading your life where you’re going to be taken next, so here goes all my fellow campers. Best of luck to you and may God bless you on your writing endeavors!

 

Janis

http://campnanowrimo.org/campers/jimonroe/novels/a-daughter-s-reflection