Creativity

STOP! Let Creativity In

I have been having an awful time getting creative and so I did some searches on You Tube and around the net about letting creativity in. Here is one article I came across. WARNING: The author swears several times. Hopefully you can overlook that. http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2012/10/02/25-ways-to-get-your-creative-groove-back-as-a-writer/

He has some good points in there and some things I already do. But something I’ve realized is that I have been struggling with anxiety when it comes to writing. I haven’t understood why when I used to love writing so much. Just at some point there was anxiety, or maybe the anxiety just happened to sneak it’s way in just as I was writing. Because there are points during the day I do just fine writing and then later in the day I get anxious and then I struggle to think straight and need a break, maybe even a nap to “reset” my brain.

You see, I get up at 5:30 in the morning…or rather that’s when my alarm goes off. I wake up anywhere between 2AM – 4AM and I usually take a nap when I put my son down for his name between noon and 1PM. But when I’m hypomanic forget it, I can’t sleep. I make it to dinner but around 6-7PM I’m yawning and can barely stay awake. Yes, I’m in bed that early. I miss out on the evening with my family, but I’m hoping another trip to my doctor’s office I can get something to help me sleep. That would help.

Something I have to realize as well is that I have fibromyalgia on top of having a mental illness so I also have to deal with fibro fog. Here are some websites I’ve visited:
http://www.cfidsselfhelp.org/library/lifting-fog-treating-cognitive-problems

https://www.webmd.com/fibromyalgia/guide/fibromyalgia-and-fatigue#1

So I have been learning to do meditation before I sit down to write. I also pray as my faith is deeply rooted in who I am. While I’m writing I also remind myself that I’m writing for the FUN of it and not to worry about the publishing aspects yet.
A very important thing I am learning is to write when there isn’t a lot going on, no kids screaming for me, chores are done or can wait, and the best times for me are in the morning. So figuring out a schedule and meditating have really helped get me into a relaxed state and my creativity has been so much better for it.

Stress and really pushing myself to work as fast as I could in the short few hours I have to write just put too much stress on me as well as gave me anxiety and I mentally shut down. I wasn’t able to get anything done.

What do you do when you find you’re struggling with your creativity?

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Mental Illness and Creativity

Mental Illness & Creativity

Some people think that those with mental illness have this great ability to be creative. Well, I am someone with a mental illness and I can tell you I actually have a hard time being creative. It’s like in my depressed moods all I want to do is stare at a wall or sleep. The last thing I want to do is try to write a story whether fiction or nonfiction. I just lay on the couch having no energy and no motivation.

When I’m hypomanic my mind is so scattered, going from one idea to the next. Whatever I’d write probably wouldn’t make much sense, especially since I don’t sleep much. But this is just me.

I swear having a mental illness makes it harder for me to think, to bring my creativity out. I don’t know that having a mental illness can actually make it harder to be creative. This is just my own person thought because I know I love to write but lately have been having such a hard time getting into my creative flow.

Do any of you notice that having a mental illness makes it harder to be creative? What do you think about my statement?

Feel free to leave a comment. I’d love to hear from you.

Secret Anguish

Shutting Down “Secret Anguish”

This has been a long arduous task for me to work on a mental health book on and off for over the last couple of years. For many days now I have worked on my book and almost every evening I have been dealing with intense emotions of anxiety, anger, depression, irritability. I have been in tears and curling up in my bed most every night just trying to get this book written. I’ve wanted to share my story thinking it would help other people but…

I must confess that I have decided to give up writing this book. It is overwhelming me and bringing up such intense emotions my therapist has suggested I stop writing so I don’t make my mental health worse.

I’m sorry to all those who were expecting to following me on this journey through writing my story and then buying the book.

May God bless you all as you go through your own mental health journey.

Memoir, Mental health

Behind the Writer

I’m sitting here in my office with the pellet stove roaring away. It’s comfortably warm in this room, but inside me is a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. You see, I’m not just a writer. First and foremost I am a child of God and I suffer from PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and depression. Why am I telling you this? Because I am going to be making blog posts about mental illness that will relate to my upcoming book about my journey through mental illness. And because I’m not afraid to admit that I have a mental illness.

Sometimes, I think that having a mental illness can make us more creative individuals because we look for creative ways to work out the pain that is deep inside. So deep it stays well hidden until we are alone and then we can contain it no longer.

Open the flood gates. Our emotions either come out as a trickle or a roar whether through tears, or through creative means. Or both.

So now you know more about me. But you’ll learn even more as I go along. 😉