As you all know I am back working on my book Secret Anguish which details my story of having mental illness. Well, what I forgot to tell you was that it also mentions that I am a highly sensitive person. And because I’m an HSP, I had to stop and research the symptoms of being and HSP again because it had been so long since I had done so. Well, I was reminded that HSPs are more emotional people and react more to situations and to interaction with others than those who aren’t HSPs.
This made me think, “Could being and HSP also have some bearing on my mental illness? Like could being so easily overstimulated make me feel anxious? Can it make me just want to crawl into bed and hide under the covers mimicking depression? Can it exhaust me and wear me down so that I feel depressed? Is the reason for my anxiety just depression and anxiety stemming from being an HSP?”
The answer to the last question is “no”. It’s not just being an HSP that has me feeling depressed or anxious. It may have some contributing factor, but I was born into a household with a very moody parent where I couldn’t do things right no matter how hard I tried. I was always criticized and the things I did well were never rewarded. I became so afraid of my father’s moodiness (including anger), that I was afraid to breathe around him because if he heard me breathe then he might remember I was in the room with him and then he might start unleashing his anger again.
Now, something I do remember reading about being an HSP is that, having gone through trauma like I did with my dad being the way he was, that you can become an HSP because of that trauma. However, I do remember having some traits of being and HSP as a child anyway, so maybe I was just born with it. Either way, whether I was born with the HSP trait or developed them, doesn’t matter. The end result is that I am and HSP now and that does have some contribution to my mental health.
I am a mom of two, a housewife, and we have one chinchilla, one chihuahua, and three parakeets. The noise of everything gets overwhelming, I get anxious and several times a day I have to flee into my room with the curtains drawn to rest. I also struggle to get out of bed because bed is comfy and quiet. If I get out of bed, I will be subject to all the noise and chaos of life again.
So now I have a decision to make. Do I include being an HSP into Secret Anguish or do I create a whole new book?
What would you like to see? Would you like to see the HSP trait as a book on it’s own, or included with Secret Anguish? Please leave your comments below. I’d love to hear from you.
Also, if you’re an HSP and have mental health issues like I do, I’d love to hear from you too! What do you find is the most difficult for you to deal with every day with being an HSP and how does it affect your mental health?