The sun i shining brightly through the south windows warming the house. The snow is melting, icicles dripping off the roof, puddles forming in the driveway. Could Spring finally be here? (or close) I sure hope so. I can’t wait to get outside and get my hands in the dirt as I plant seeds in our garden, or pull up earthworms for fishing.
The warmer temperatures and fresh air bekon me out the door and energize me. I feel energized not only to adventure outdoors, but usually to write and to take a new book off the shelf. It’s like the fresh air and just knowing Spring is close helps to shake of the winter doldrums.
In one of my last posts I talked about moving away from writing personal experience pieces such as my story of discovering I had Celiac Disease, or losing a parent when I was a teen, and how I want these pieces to be encouraging to those who have gone through something similiar. Well, I must say I have been dealing with self doubt because I have been away from the craft of writing for quite some time. I haven’t taken my writing seriously for so many years and I mean sitting down every day and being dedicated to one project until it is finished. It has been years since I have published anything and now sitting down to look at a blank page even though I have ideas causes anxiety. I think I have run too long and now work through the anxiety. Perhaps many writers deal with this, but this is a first for me. I had no idea that being away from something for so long could being anxiety when trying to get back into it. The fear of, “Oh, no! I forgot what front piece goes where.” or “How do I even begin?” “How should I start this, in the present looking back, or should I start from the beginning as a child?” The questions go on and on until I’d get frustrated and angry and then walk away. I had to break that cycle if I was going to be the writer I claimed to be. The writer I used to be a few years back. The kind of writer I can be again.
Take a deep breath… Relax. I can do this. Let everything go and just write. It’s the first draft and I’ll figure everything else out later. And I’ve done just that. I am happy and excited to announch I have written the first few paragraphs of my next novel tentativley titled Secret Anguish: A Discovery of Celiac Disease.
Have you been through something simliar? How did you break through your anxiety? Feel free to leave a comment or send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org